i make damn good corn custard!

so yeah, its Christmas and I'm home alone.
my elder sis is at her Christmas party,
eating huge mouth-watering-$80-turkey,
while i am eating custard.
they're exchanging presents,
while i am what? blogging?
where's the Christmas spirit?
i dont celebrate christmas often.
im not even sure if i have christian friends.
i think i do but heck, i dont even talk to them.

i would love to receive some christmas presents though.
anyone?

hmmm, just as i thought.
no one.
well, merry christmas.

i need to change.
i need to change my attitude.
i need to change my lifestyle.
i need to change my appearance.
i need to change my food intake.
i need to change my bad habits.
i need to change my fucking weight.

i need to get thinner.
i need to so badly.

im sick and tired of being single. (i think?)
im sick and tired of not getting noticed.
im sick and tired of pretty girls.
i want to be one!

FUCK YOU WORLD!

have you ever wondered what's it like having no money at all?
i literally have ZERO money left.
absolutely nothing.

ZILCH!

i really need to find a job.
i cant keep sitting at home all day long.
i need to get out of the house.
i am wasting too much time.
that amount of time can be put into good use,
and with that amount of time,
i could probably earn actual money.

school's over.
friends gone, almost forever.
i feel pathetic.
i am useless.
i don't have a backbone.
i am the ultimate negative thinker.
i am no queen.
i am no princess.

I'm like a beggar begging for shelter.
I'm worthless.

new year's approaching.
need to stick to my new year's resolution.
i'd be a better person,
a better friend,
a better family member.

kl

BACK FROM KL!

girls

they're all so pretty.
then what the fuck am i?

8th

my cat died yesterday. :(

SE

I HAVE NO MORE INTERNET! :(

AND I MISS MY FRIENDS! :(

eddie

hello everyone.
nobody reads this anyway.
lol.

hmm let's see..
i've been staying home on weekends for the past...
1, 2, 3, 4 weeks!!
hmm one whole month!
new record.
i think i've saved about $20 plus,
if im not wrong.

since its the fasting month,
i've decided to save all my money
and when the fasting month ends,
it'd be hari raye.
so, money from savings + raya money=
ok la, can buy what i want good enough already.

i want to apply for a credit card,
so i can buy stuff online.
Singapore's things are quite boring
and the quality's not as good as i wished i'd be.

i cannot wait for school to end
and get my results.
i hope it'd be good cos i really want to go to higher nitec
so i can go to poly after that!

i want to get a job
and use that money to get car license.
or maybe bike license on the sly.
heheheheheheheheh evil thoughts!

ah about the job.
i need it to be a good one
so i can stick with it until i have the
requirements and certificates
to get a better and more stable job
and that would be the job i'll be doing till i retire.

recently i read a book which was called
"The Five People You Meet In Heaven" by Mitch Albom.
its really a nice book, anybody who's reading this,
you should read the book.
ita about this guy named Eddie, short for Edward.
he was killed while doing his job
and he went to different places
to meet 5 different person who made a difference in his life,
even though he didnt know some of them,
his life and death was connected to each of them.

and so the story goes on.
you have to read it yourself.
the book has a genuine power when you read it.

oh well, this is a very long entry
cos i have not written for a long time.

:)

thh

i think im living in my own existence.
nobody cares if im there or not.
wishful thinking?
maybe, maybe not.
who cares,
its not like im some big fuck out there.
im not one to be remembered.
i'll say, im a shadow.
creeping around,
through the cracks.
im better off on my own.

toll

school sucks!
its much too stressful.
especially around these times,
right before the holidays.
so much projects to finish!
i haven't even started on some.
i hate graduating year!
i can't wait to finish school!
December, please come very soon.
i wanna leave this school and never look back.

what's more,
my msn got virus.
like fucking cb!
upset ahhh!!

and i keep falling sick.
i like the rain but please don't make me sick.
i really cannot handle stress and sickness at the same time.
ya, im a weakling when it comes to being sick
and i don't handle stress well.
now i have both,
and it has taken a toll on me.
:(

i love the coldness.
it's like the winter Singapore never had.
it's like a feeling, a good one perhaps.
it's like a lovely presence when it brushes,
against my pale skin.

i never want the coldness to go away.

stalker

i have an ex boyfriend
who sends me mushy messages
which rhymes,
and calls me baby.
i find it really scary.
please stop.
it makes me sick.
its disgusting.
please go away.

i should really change my number.
fucking stalker.

singfest bull!

WAHH FUCKKK WASTEDDD!!

i am very very ultra sad!!!
cos my friends went to singfest!
not only that,
THEY WENT IN FOR FREE LAA SIAAA!!!
and i was at home,
watching the stupid national day parade.

FUCKK WASTED LIKE FUCK LA HAIII!!

goodbye mike,
goodbye mxpx,
goodbye academy is,
goodbye cobra starship,
and especially....
GOODBYE GYM CLASS HEROES!
bye travis, drummer, bassist, and guitarist.
i guess i'll meet you guys in my dreams.
see you later!
FUCK!
:(

ssd

hahah today is a happy day
cos i got 100% for my test
but then tcher will suspect
that im cheating
so not so really happy day.
turns out to be a sad sad day.
FUCK YOU!
hahaha! _|_

oh ya, baybeats sucked!
booooooooo~

jutg

if we want to see a better day,
we'll find a way!
nobody can take away
the strength that we have!
-set it straight

a day to remember!

yesterday, on the 25th july,
my friends and i went out.
i was going to pay my fine at Outrum
but it was too early cos class ended around 11.
so my friends decided to accompany me there
cos they didnt want to go home early.

we took a bus to cityhall cos it was raining
and cos i needed to top up my ezlink card
but we ended up going to marina square.
we had breakfast/lunch at pizza hut.
hmmmm yum yumm!

after that we walked around and it was freezing.
i kept going to the toilet cos of the temperature.
we were freezing our asses off!
then around 2 plus,
we headed to cityhall mrt to catch a train to outrum.

i paid my fine and we walked back to the mrt station.
i had to go to the toilet again but couldnt find any at the mrt station
so i decided to walk around the area to find one
while my friends waited for me at the station.

i walked around and saw a "shopping center"
so i went in to look for a toilet.
after using the toilet, i got out of the "shopping center"
and made my way back to the mrt station.
i saw an mrt entrance nearby which wrote east/west line and nel line.
since it was raining i decided to take that route
thinking i could get through to outrum station faster.
i walked and walked and walked for a long time.
the place was quite deserted
and at one point of time, i found myself alone.
there wasnt any body else.
my friend called me and asked why i was taking a long time to get back.
i told her im coming and that im reaching cos
i saw an exit and thought it was the right one.
so i happily went up the escalator.

to my surprise, it wasnt the exit that i thought it was!
hahah I WAS LOST! i didnt know where i was.
i didnt want to go back underground
cos i'd probably lose my way again.
i panicked for a while and started walking again.
i was really lost so i called my friend.

Conversation [while i was walking to find the outrum station]
lydia:hello
me:ehhh lydia!! aku sesat!!! hahaha!!
lydia:huh? hahaha! mane kau?? kau sesat kat mane??
me:-_- aku tak tau aku kat mane! aku sesat! aku masok underpass abeh tembos tak tau mane!
lydia:hahahahah!ahahahahaha! siak ah kau! sabar sabar!

then lydia passed the phone to hanisah.
nisa:hello ahh kau sesat? hahahah!!
me:ak ahh laa! hahahaha.
nisa:hahahah! kat mane kau ni?!!?
me:aku tak tau laaa!
nisa:hahahahahahhah!!!
me:hahahahahha!
[and more hahaha-s]
me:EH!! EH!! KK AKU DAH TAU HAHAAHH!!!

we hung up.

i saw them from far.
they were laughing their heads off at me.
hahahahahah!!
i giggled so hard while walking that the people passing me thought i was mad.
hahahah! they laughed at me!
i was smilling and giggling so much!
i was a craaazyy girl in their eyes!
ccchiibbaii!!

i feel like a foreigner in my own country.
i feel stupid. hahahaha shut up.

5652

I LOVE THE WEATHER!!
its perfect.

ewd

im letting my love go,
cos its useless holding on to something or someone,
when i know its just not going to happen.
at least not to me.

iyg

those kids are laughing at me,
and i need some company.

sister

i have a very vain 10 yr old younger sister,
who spends her time infront of the mirror,
for hours and hours,
doing her stupid hair,
which irritates the hell out of me!

when did she grow up?
how come i missed it?

somehow rather,
i missed the old her.

rrf

i love,

hearts

i keep trying,
but i can't seem to reach your heart anymore.
so, i surrender.

DD

IM IN BIG FUCKIN' TROUBLE!
THE BIGGEST TROUBLE IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE.
HMMMMMMMMMM...

i hate staying at home cos i have to do chores.
i hate doing chores cos im the only one who does chores.
i hate that im the only one doing chores cos my elder sister certainly wont do chores.
i hate my elder sister for not doing chores cos as you know she's the oldest and supposed to be doing chores.
i hate it when she lies on the bed and doesnt even bother to make it after messing it up.
i hate it when she's not working cos she just wont do anything at home except hanging out in her room.
i hate it when she's not working cos she'll be in her room with the doors closed and avoiding all humans in the house and neglecting all things that she has to do.
argh darn.
oh well, thats "home life" for me!

hij

hello school,
please give students jobs during holidays.
student idiotship or something.
oopps, i mean internship.
LOL
[tak kelaka, lame]

love

unrequited love affair
_|_

southpark!

hmmm 8 hrs of south park everyday.
>_<

holidays at home sucks ass!

my kitchen caught fire just now for about 4 secs.
i had forgotten about the oil
being heated up to fry stuffs.
kitchen started to fill up with smoke.
and the oil caught fire.
I = STUPID!
put the burning pan in sink and threw water on it.
woooahh biggest mistake!
the fire became bigger and started
to burst into big flames.
u know like explosions shaped flames?
or u know the chefs at restaurants?
the way they cook?
the big flames burst when
they put something in their cooking?
something like that.
like magic potions gone wrong POOFS?
ah i think u got the idea.
ahh that type.
scared the shit out of me.
thank god nobody was home.
smoky & burnt kitchen = trouble!
i never want to fry anything ever again!

then back to more south park.
woohooo!!

waiting for tonight!
wooaah oohh ohhhh!

fvs v

hi, tonight im alone.
just like yesterday.
tired but cant sleep.
hungry but eaten already.
bored with the comp.
nothing else to do.
psp is boring too.

so, how lonely are you?

HEY FRIEND!

HEY!

TODAY,
I'VE GOT 2 NEW SHIRTS FROM MY ELDER SIS
AS A BELATED BIRTHDAY PRESENT!
IM QUITE HAPPY BUT I DONT LIKE TO SHOW
MY SISTER THAT I AM
cos then she'll be NICE TO ME!
BUT THANK YOU, AND ADAM TOO!

and today im reminded
that you still havent called me since my bday.
(i cant possibly call cos you know you're uncontactable)
don't know whether u know this but
im really angry and disappointed,
maybe REALLY MAD.

but then i realised something,
i just cant be bothered anymore.
cos im not as important as
your "better half" or the others
in your life as i used to be.
(or maybe not)
SO WHY SHOULD YOU?
im not losing anything i guess,
cos i have better friends than you'll ever be.
they make me happy,
like azri always say,
friends are like family
and trust is blood.
hmmmmmmmmmm,
i love my friends,
just maybe not you.

AND MY MSN JUST SIGNED OUT AND BACK IN BY ITSELF.

zdf

a few days ago, i realised something.
i cannot carry heavy stuff on my right side anymore.
my right arm's weak.

scary, but true.
HAHA
like ghost story.
-.-

sxcs

when it's over,
thats the time i fall in love again.
-sugar ray

SOIA

SOIA was fucking awesome!!
it was worth spending 50 bucks,
a good way to spend time with closest friends!


and i cannot move my arm.

sssssssssss

SICK OF IT ALL'S TODAY, BITCHESSS!!!

fight

i hate it when my parents fight!

ezd

nothing's different.

18

the best gig i've been to this year!
midnight madness was actually not midnight but yeah!
great!


thank you to everyone who wished me happy bday
but somehow rather,
turning 18 is bad luck for me.
hahahahaaaa
shut up.

ytgv

i hate doing laundry.

oooooh, 4 more days
but then again,
what's so special about being 18?
i'll still be jobless,
still have the same amount of freedom,
still be the same.
so i guess 18's not that special after all.
[except being legal -.-]

high sch

the same high school shit!

LOL

woo! my small sis's going to malacca from friday till sunday!
im freeeeee!!!!!! yes yes yes yes!!
i can go out anytime i want!
any day i want!
AND, go home anytime i want!!
woo!!
SAPE MAU LEPAK??
ton skali pon boleh!
set?set? SET?
:D

:D

I R THY FINGER MONSTERRR!
(i'm like this in sch -_-)

dMN

why are weekends shorter than weekdays?
damn

heh

i like dinosaurs,
other than that,
i want to show you how boring my neighbourhood is.

we're all the same

currently there's
not much difference,
and too much alike.

sad

i really miss the old times when it was still 2005.
bring them back, bring all of them back!

i hate my sister

how i wish my sister wasnt 10 but 15.
please please please grow up faster, damnit.
get old already.
im 18 and still stuck in this house
with no freedom, not working.
i dont know anyone who's 18 and not working
and have no rights to go out whenever he/she wants to.
I HATE HAAATEEEEE HATEEEEE my sister.
why must our age difference be so bigggg.
i feel like running away laaa.
wah sad :(

hell has no fury

sesame seed assult's damn goooooood!!!

anyho,
im fuckin broke.
finished all my savings on the 4th.
that's the first time i spent 60 bucks with no regrets.
can't say that im happy, sad or glad.
its neither, nil.

sch has been a pain in the ass.
did suprisingly well in the 1st test but didnt manage to do the same in the 2nd.
oh, oh, oh!
can't wait for the holidays, which is in 1, 2, 3, 4 ..........10 days!

i feel like traveling.
perhaps go to johor or something.
(like real can go)
and bring some friends along!

couldn't go to hardcore fest last weekend.
soooo saaaddd.
heard it was gooodd.
god, my life sucks.

ok bye.

what if?

what if birds couldn't fly?
what if the sky wasn't high?

what if there wasn't any gravity?
we'd all be floating freely.

what if we didn't have any feelings?
then nobody would be flirting.

what if tress weren't green?
what if everybody turned mean?

and finally, i couldn't resist,
what if i didn't exist?

0

i dreamt i was dying as i so often do,
and when i awoke i was sure it was true.
i ran to my window, threw my head to the sky,
and said whoever is up there,
please don't let me die.

meeey new year!

merry new year! a day late.
:D